Back in the caveman days, people lived in tribes: each tribe cohabitated together as families in large dwellings. Young men and women would mate and have children. But if any caveman asked another to have sex with his wife, so it was. No big deal. And by the way, cavemen never needed to hit their wives over the head – their women were quite willing.
Let’s fast forward to the 16th century. It was around this time that marriages among the elite became more for convenience than for love. It was also at this time that the courtesan became a woman of status rather than one of ill repute. In fact, men were honored to be chosen by the most revered of these women. A courtesan and her lover would go out in public proudly and no one batted an eye.
Now we move on to the late 19th to early 20th centuries. Here in the United States women and men waited until marriage to engage in a sexual relationship. The rules seemed pretty clear. The man courted the woman and she remained chaste.
Not so far after that, we entered into the 1970’s. The age of Aquarius – love the one you’re with! People were exploring their sexuality openly and without shame.
And now here we are at the beginning of the 21st century.
The cultures of all other times before us seemed to have unspoken rules about the way things were.
Now it all seems very muddled.
Teens hang out in groups and sexually experiment with each other.
Many married couples enjoy monogamy, while others have open relationships or engage in swinging. But the two latter have to hide their preferences.
People are out there dating for a variety of reasons, from having casual sex to looking for the loves of their lives and everything in between.
Ah, and that intoxicating feeling that comes with great sex. Those crazy chemicals messing with our brains. This is where singles have to be a bit careful; as for many it blinds them from seeing their lover with clarity.
Those hormones served us very well as cavemen. Back then, that is how couples choose each other. Life was all about survival and procreation.
But now we live in very different times.
I suppose in this day and age where there are such diverse feelings regarding sexuality, we each have to come up with our own rules. As a single person, you can define what kind of sexual being you want to be and do share that with those you date. You want to make sure you are on the same page. As a couple, together you decide what works best for the two of you.
I like that. The idea of each of us choosing who we want to be in the world, in any regard, is a very powerful thing. But, as in all things, we must choose with pure intention and never to harm another.
© 2016 Alice Badler