There was a time, not so long ago, when women couldn’t vote, or work, or even go to college. Their jobs were to marry, stay home and take care of their families.
The women’s movement changed all of that and that‘s a good thing, as so many women felt unfulfilled.
But soon there was unrest. It was almost as if men became the enemy as women fought for more prestigious jobs, equal pay and became able to take care of themselves financially and in almost every other way. Even I can change the oil in my car. Oh wait, I meant I could PUT oil in my car, not that I have any desire to do that!!
Many women wanted total equality with men. They even wanted men to be able to communicate with them the way we, as women, communicate.
But men and women ARE different. We are different physically, psychologically and emotionally. We can never be truly equal, and why would we want to be? Equal means the same.
As all of these changes were happening for women, men just moved along with us. Confused, not really knowing what their roles were anymore. This dynamic has changed the way men and women interact with each other in all things. It has definitely changed the dance of finding and falling in love with a mate. I think this is why courtship has become a lost art.
Here’s the thing. Men need to be needed. Men need to feel like the provider and protector. Men need to feel appreciated and valued.
They are built that way! This has been ingrained in them for almost 200,000 years, as the hunters of our species.
And as women, we can certainly give this to them, even in our wonderful roles, where we are so strong and capable.
How hard it is to notice all the delightful things that a man brings into our lives, rather than paying attention to the things he is doing wrong?
How hard is it to let a man know when he does something that has added value to your day, to your life? And I am not just talking about love relationships here. I am talking about the way we treat all men, from the men we work with to that man who may be serving you dinner at a restaurant.
Even young boys need to feel admired.
A woman who shows a man how much she appreciates him, values him and respects him, gets all the great gifts a man can bestow on a woman.
Men ARE fabulous, they really are! They need us to see that. We, the women, are the ones who can bring out the best in them. Now, that’s powerful!
© 2016 Alice Badler